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    • EEG & Disability: TED Talk Reaction

    2010 - 06.24

    Category Disability, Rant, Society | 1 Comment »

    So, for those that don’t know, the TED conference that focuses on “ideas worth spreading.” Top specialists in various fields are invited to talk on their area of expertise and how they would like to change the world. EEG collects electrical signals from the brain noninvasively (usually with a cap and a scalp  covered in goop).

    Today, I got Dr. Aditi Shankardass‘s presentation, “A second opinion on learning disorders,” in my RSS feed (note: video and transcript are available on the page). And, I have very mixed opinions. Shankardass is an expert and is supporting a more medical definition of learning disorders; many learning disorders are defined by behavior as seen from an external view, not through the individual experience.

    Yet, there were several things in this video that grated on me. First, the nit picky things. By “learning disability,” it actually means “neurological disorder.” Learning disabilities are things like dyslexia. Autism (which this lecture focuses on), ADHD, epilepsy, and other examples are not learning disabilities (although, they impact learning). I don’t know if Shankardass named the  talk, as there was a slide where learning disabilities were noted separately from these other disorders.

    On to the just “ick” factor. For a seven minute video, “suffer” is used 7 times. Two of these were in relation to the neurotypical person suffering. Yes, because neurological disorders are the end all of intelligence. The locked/unlocked mind metaphor is used to describe communication deficits. Okay, just because the outside world isn’t getting the message, doesn’t mean a person is trapped.

    Finally, the straw that gets Alison to write rather than crash on the couch: Shankardass states she found half of children diagnosed with autism actually have brain seizures. Okay, first, there is no explanation of the numbers of children in the study, what part of the autism spectrum they were testing on, and other real basic scientific process. (I tried finding a paper on this work, but haven’t turned up anything.)

    I know damn well what it feels like when someone dismisses your disability or dismisses that you have a disability. By giving people more reasons to dismiss a disability, does not help people with disabilities. Alison’s inner theater1:

    Autistic Person: I have autism. Could you accommodate me by—

    Neurotypical: —I heard that’s really just brain seizures.

    Autistic Person: I don’t have epilipsy; I have autism.

    Neurotypical: Have you had an EEG? Or maybe you should just try some seizure meds.

    I wish I had a more optimistic view. But, I get to deal with people dismissing my disabilities, telling me “cures,” and ignoring my personhood regularly. I don’t expect people with autism to be free of negative experiences in relation to their disability. Which is different from “suffering” from a disability. It’s external forces (including people) that causes a person with disabilities to have difficulties.

    1 I do not have autism and do not speak for anyone with autism. Internal “theater” are compilations of a disordered mind.

    Been Quiet

    2010 - 06.15

    Category Miscellaneous, Personal | Comments Off

    So, this past month has been a whirlwind.

    Had to pack and move (don’t recommend moving down and up stairs).

    Got an internship, which has had me jumping through all sort of hoops. It’s hard to complain when I got the position at the last conceivable moment (someone had decided to go with another position, I gather) with only a 30 minute phone interview. The commute is about 2 hours, so they gave me a nice stipend for a hotel. I do miss my stuff and my puppy.

    And, of course, the stress has me being sick most of the time. As if being stressed isn’t a good—er, bad?—enough. That said, I have had little plot bunnies hopping through my head. But, it’s sleepy time now. Hopefully, in the next few days I can do another “What is CS?” (most likely on logic) and do prelem work on my newest project bunny plot (creating a pseudoperson and monitoring the effects).

    Dabbling with Video Game Diversity

    2010 - 05.07

    Tags: , , , , , Category Disability, Diversity, Feminism, Miscellaneous, Society | Comments Off

    So, I am on this little tangent after watching Danial Floyd’s “Video Games and the Female Audience,” which I followed from “Considerations on Females as Game Consumers” at Border House (a feminist video gaming blog). One of the sticking ideas was that the marketing and design of female video game characters are exclusive towards women.

    Why are the breast physics so important? Why are strong, kick-ass women wearing next to no clothing and high heels?1 Why are the female leads always the romantic interest for the male lead? Why are women developers objectified rather than admired for their talents? Why do women leave the gaming industry?2 Why are there “girl editions”? And why are they always pink?3

    But women aren’t the only ones that are not included into the gaming culture. This includes: people of color, people with disabilities, transmen and transwomen, non-heterosexuals—well, it just sort of continues on.

    So, does any game at least do decent to promote diversity? Some. Not as many as I like, but some.

    Beyond Good & Evil (2003) stars Jade. Jade wears cargo pants, a tank top, and a jacket. While her midriff is visible it isn’t sexy; it just sort of is there (going to go with that being the fashion of the times). She is taking on the world… through photojournalism. There isn’t any romance to be found in this title. While not intended, Jade’s design is racially ambiguous.

    Mass Effect Series (2007—present) allows the user to build their own character. That said, all the marketing uses the default male character and the system enforces heteronormative romantic relationships. The women have personalities and objectives that are not necessarily best for everyone in the universe (just as the men do). It isn’t the portrayal of women that I like though.

    No. It’s Jeff “Joker” Moreau, the Flight Lieutenant (read: pilot) for the series. He also has Vrolik syndrome, meaning he has bones that break very easily. When he walks, he limps and is in apparent pain. It’s a character with a disability! But, how do we know he isn’t a token character? Well, I say the biggest indication is that he isn’t a “very special lesson.” Joker is sarcastic, arrogant, and makes jokes. He is clever. He brags about excelling past his normal classmates, “They all got their asses kicked by the sickly kid with the creaky little legs. One guess who was smiling at graduation.”4

    Final Fantasy XIII (2009) stars Lightening. For the main cast, half are women even. And they pass the Bechdel Test5. Hell, the only romantic subplot is between a lead male and a secondary character. The women themselves, well, they are varying degrees of sexualized and none of their clothes are particularly practical. But, they have opinions, beliefs, and secrets. Lightening punches people, as opposed to the more traditional slap; I admit it is more shocking with a woman than a man.

    Even better there is a black man, Sazh. While the chocobo–friendly afro is a stereotype, he breaks many others. He is a single parent who cares deeply for his son. While he cracks jokes and is the apparent comedic relief, he is still very serious and much more mature than the other characters.

    [Border House has great posts about Sazh and the women of Final Fantasy XIII.]

    Any other characters that are strong and diverse? Who are your favorites? What makes you feel they are a good character?

    1 Suspension of belief ends when you can’t stop thinking how little protection a garment offers and how many times you would trip if you ran in those heels.

    2 Especially alarming considering how difficult it is to get into the gaming market.

    3 I like pink, but give me red, green, purple, and all the other colors too!

    4 This particular line resonates a lot with me. Not only do people with disabilities have to be equally talented to their peers, we have to be better. To make up for our disability in society’s eyes. Not a rational thought, but internalized messages rarely are.

    5 The Bechdel Test says:

    1. It has to have at least two women in it,
    2. Who talk to each other,
    3. About something besides a man.

    Computer Science, the study of…? Mathematics.

    2010 - 04.30

    Tags: , , , , Category Computer Science, what is...? | Comments Off

    [Note: I wrote this more as a curiosity.  What follows is a dabbling into one perspective of what computer science is, a subfield of mathematics in this case. I think it would make an interesting series and invite requests.]

    One of my all time favorite quotes attributed to Edsger Dijkstra (one of the best known theorists and algorithms computer scientists) is:

    Computer science is as much about computers as astronomy is about telescopes.

    Djikstra felt very strongly that computer science should be viewed as a branch of mathematics. A radically novel subfield.

    First, the “divide and conquer” view of large systems (breaking a universe into galaxies into solar systems and so forth) does not work for programs. Changing one bit (abstracted away in the creator’s mind), changes the entire system. There are no too small to matter parts.

    Second, computer science relies on discrete numbers. A bit is a one or a zero (excluding quantum computing systems). Our logic depends on yes/no choice:

    if (x) : then y
    else : z

    We pick branches; we do not go down multiple paths. A discrete system is antithesis to the analog perspective we humans have. We have the notion of “gray areas.” We can have proportions (like one third) that can only be estimated by a computer.

    He was also adamant against software engineering, or as he called it, “The Doomed Discipline” as it cannot guarantee correctness. Consider testing: while one can find bugs through testing, one cannot prove there are no bugs in the code. (Not finding something is not definitive proof.)

    In regards, to how he felt computer science should go, he demanded formality. Language should be accurate. Errors are not an infection or insect, and, hence, not a “bug.” Software and hardware are inanimate things; they should not be personified (they are genderless and do not desire, need, want, etc. anything).

    And, our very beloved proofs. While not as formal as those in a mathematics course, there must be irrefutable logic to them. As this is a model-centric view, each program is an independent model. So, students need to be able to justify that their program (their proof) is sound.

    For more information about Dijkstra’s views, I recommend his 1998 paper, “The Cruelty of Really Teaching Computer Science.”

    The Experience Curse, or The Lie of Meritorcricy

    2010 - 04.28

    Tags: , , , Category Industry, Personal, Rant | Comments Off

    I have a lot of experience. I have a lot of experience in different areas. And, because of my incessant perfectionism, I work really fucking hard to excel at these different tasks.

    Meritocracy claims that everyone earns their place. Technology fields like to spout about how they are so meritocratic. And this is complete bull shit.

    The team above the group that demanded the bullshit “prove you’re a programmer” to me posted an internship. An internship that was a combination of marketing, intellectual property law, and open source software knowledge. I haven’t heard back from them. My male roommate (who has no marketing or law background and I wouldn’t trust to program his way out of a paper bag) has gotten a request for an interview. The person who got the previous position effectively saying that my roommate would be getting a job offer.

    … Apparently, being talented isn’t good enough. Knowing the right person outweighs it substantially.

    And, I know I sound bitter. But, I think it’s understandable. I work my ass off to be the best. It’s really special to see someone that has proved that they’re unreliable, incompetent, and arrogant regularly to be seen as so much better than me. I wouldn’t be angry if they were on equal par to me. Subpar though?

    … Yeah, I’m not buying this company’s products. Why would I want to pursue the creations of a company that doesn’t want the best for a position. Only the one that has a good bud.

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