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    Meeting Dr. Duck & More Ableism


    2009 - 12.18

    Dr. Duck has done wonderful work towards outreach and encouraging children to pursue science and math. His name is on several papers that I have come to love, rereading as if they were a beloved novel.

    I wanted to work with him.

    Up until I met him.

    Oh, and did meeting him hurt. My chest, two days later, still feels heartbroken. And I’m so tired of crying.

    I spent my time with him having tears welling up in to my eyes. My anxiety echoing through my head, telling me that I wasn’t safe here and I needed to leave. I cried most of the hour drive home. I didn’t realize why I was so upset beyond that he caused it. I was so happy about meeting him, and now…

    Turns out the person I admired counted disabled people as “other.” He repeatedly told me that his lab does education, not disability. These two  things are mutually exclusive in his mind. I guess disabled children aren’t worth educating; it isn’t an unheard of belief. But, to hear this from someone I admire, someone whose fucking research is education…? I was godsmacked. All the data and stories indicating that society has enforced the failure of persons with disability, the number of children that are disabled, the National Science Foundation (which doled out a lot of grant money to this guy) pushing that people with disabilities are needed to attain diversity in the sciences, none of these things occurred to him.

    When asked about my grades, I mentioned that I got two Cs in Calculus. And I briefly stated that my unaccommodated attention deficit was one of the reasons. “Yes, but what about your grades now?” I know that tone. I’ve heard it before. Directed at my brother who is on the more severe side of ADHD. That’s the tone of a pseudoskeptic. Someone that feels ADHD isn’t really a disability. Obviously, I just didn’t do well in Calculus and am making excuses. (We’ll just ignore the As on my assignments and the confused TAs.)

    I’m still upset now. But, I’m comforting myself best I can that I could have had him actually had him as an advisor; that would be infinitely worse.

    Learning from Projects


    2009 - 12.05

    My department encourages undergraduates to do research beginning in their freshman year. I get the impression that many schools limit this to a senior design project, which is rather saddening.

    I’ve stopped reading my CS text books because, well, they’re just not helpful. But then, trying to learn anything more unusual like how to use the tools available is still very difficult. So, I’m just going to do a quick overview of what I’ve learned from using different tool sets.

    LilyPad

    So, the LilyPad series of embedded systems modules is designed for wearable computing. So, the best place to start learning about the LilyPad stuff is from the creator, Leah Buechley. Things to keep in mind:

    • I never needed to create a pad for my units to prevent slippage. But, you’re millage may very.
    • Pins (rather petals) of the LilyPad Arduino are dictated by an int (integer) value.
      • 13 is reserved for the LED that exists on the LilyPad Arduino.
      • RX/TX are for serial connections (see XBee below)
      • Analog (denoted by “a” on the petal) pins retain the same numbering scheme as the digital ones(so there’s an analog and digital pin 0, which are both labeled “0.”)
    • Buttons should be set up connected to two digital pins. One should be written to be HIGH while the other is written to LOW. Then, just do something whenever the HIGH pin reads as LOW. (This is contrary to the standard debounce that is done with buttons.)
    • Do not EVER cross conductive thread lines or allow them to touch one another. This will destroy one or more modules.

    I have used all of the LilyPad modules available. Except for the slide switch it’s pretty much “find the closest example and repeat” (if anyone knows how to use the slide switch, I’d like to know).

    XBee

    Based on the ZigBee standard, XBees are designed for WPAN. Indoors, they are restricted to within a room, but can be separated by miles outdoors.

    This forum post is probably the easiest I’ve seen in getting started. Things to also consider:

    • RX connections go to TX and vice-versa. Weird, counterintuitive, but that’s how it goes.
    • With a firmware update, it’s possible to have the XBee use actuators. This isn’t direct control, more like if one XBee has a pin go HIGH, the XBee it talks to will also have that pin go HIGH.

    Personally, I found it a lot easier just to use the XBees for communication and an Arduino for the actual sensor data and actuator control.

    Trackmate

    Trackmate is a computer vision based tangible object system. From a user standpoint, it’s pretty easy to control: cut out some inch-square icons, tape them on to objects, and use the interface.

    From a programming standpoint, not so much.

    • I recommend the Minim Processing library for any audio work. Seriously, don’t even bother trying to do this from scratch.
    • The code itself, when I last looked at it, was very hardcoded, so don’t expect to change the behavior of the system unless wanting to write it from scratch.
    • Review Processing. While it is derived from Java, it leaves some more advanced things out.
    • Review matrix algebra and vectors. While you won’t be doing math directly, it will help to make sense of some of the values.
    • I did the initial setup using the PlayStation Eye camera as recommended. While I could use the camera’s drivers and operate it from outside Trackmate, it didn’t work with Trackmate (looked like snow). Don’t know why, but it just wouldn’t work for me.

    Combining Projects


    2009 - 10.25

    As I’ve stated before, I need to create one embedded systems and one artificial intelligence project this semester.

    From both professors, I have gotten the impression that the project is intended to demonstrate that I learned something. So, rather than worry about the scale, I’ve decided to combine the two projects into a super-project.

    Not to say it won’t still be quality work. I just as soon do both together than to risk doing one project poorly.

    So, what will I be doing?

    1. Embedding a camera, RGB LED, LilyPad Arduino, a mode switch, and an xBee onto a canvas.
    2. Connecting an xBee to my netbook, Spinnel.
    3. Creating a touch and look modes.
    4. Having Spinnel react to the actions.

    The touch mode will use conductive thread embroidered into the canvas. When the user touches it, the node will activate and do a specific task.

    In look mode, the camera will take pictures.  These photos will be sent to Spinnel for processing. Using OpenCV library, a series of movements will be interpreted as a gesture and the system will activate an event based on this action.

    So, why can I combine these projects? Well, a lot of it comes down to the size of the project. In A.I. many people are doing something that could be done in a couple weeks, like programming a game-playing algorithm. Because I’ve decided on a more advanced topic, I get a lot more flexibility in how and with what tools I approach it with.

    Now, it’s just a matter of getting the time to do it.

    Why Visual Impairment?


    2009 - 10.25

    Alright, the standard belief is that people who want equal access, rights, etc. are stereotypically people that fall into the group that are being marginalized. I am by no measure blind; my nearsightedness is easily corrected with glasses.

    I am an individual with behavioral, learning, and pain disorders that affect my interactions with society. Why not work to improve individuals like myself?

    And there’s lots of reasons why I’ve decided I want to help people with severe visual impairment first.

    First up, people that are severely visually impaired have it a hell of a lot worse than I do. One of my friends is completely blind with not even light perception (extremely rare despite this being the imagined picture of the typical blind individual); I can’t send him Vimeo videos about research he’d enjoy because it isn’t accessible  (there isn’t a textual play). Even something as basic as keep backpacks out of aisles so he won’t trip is difficult for many people to grasp.

    As one can conclude from my research, having a severe visual impairment greatly decreases the opportunities a person has. I never had to worry about whether I would be literate, attend college, and be educated enough to have a profession; I assumed that I just needed to work for it. If a child has a severe visual impairment, this isn’t the case and that depresses and disgusts me.

    Secondly, helping others with different abilities does help me and many others. I find it very difficult to use a touchscreen because of the amount of attention necessary; staring at computer screens will give me a migraine, but I have limited choice with GUIs.

    The drive for multimedia also excludes people with hearing impairments, easily fatigued individuals, and even those that simply are in a hurry.

    Thirdly, and probably most importantly, just because I’ve decided to help one marginalized groups doesn’t mean I’m going to say “tough shit” to anyone else. Despite the common belief, I am not required to make an exclusive decision. I want to include as many people as possible; this just happens to be the area that I’m starting from.

    NSF GRFP


    2009 - 10.15

    NSF GRFP is one of the competitive fellowships for graduate students in the sciences. Providing a nice stipend and tuition for 3 years, many students entering the first year of graduate school or in their first year apply each year.

    This fellowship  focuses on intellectual merit and broad impact of supporting a particular student. (The NSF wants to get it’s monies worth. Intellectual merit not only includes the academic career of a student, but the researcher potential and ability to work in a team and solo.  Broad impact focuses on supporting diversity, broadcasting knowledge, discovery of novel information, and benefiting society.

    I’ve never been particularly good at promoting myself. Hell, I’m downright self-deprecating.  Yet, in the last year, I have worked very hard at getting past this and applying to REU programs and a scholarship to attend the Grace Hopper Celebration of Women in Computing.

    I applied to these fully expecting to be rejected. I don’t think I’m special; I believe that there are other people that deserve it more than me. I write my essays honestly and imbue as much as my passion as I can. My best guess is that my past successes are because the readers get tired of reading bullshitting.

    I get to write 3 essays for the NSF GRFP:

    • Personal statement: where my passions for my field come from, what’s unique about me that I bring to the field, & why  I need the money.
    • Previous research experience: what I’ve done & what have I learned from these activities.
    • Research proposal: Prove that I know the requirements for making a proposal; what is the hypothesis, how to go about testing it, literature support, and general formatting.

    These are all single-spaced 2 page essays. I doubt they would disapprove of being shorter, but the questions do need to be answered. At present, I’m trying to write the personal statement, while mentally reviewing what I’ve read for the research proposal.

    This isn’t going to be easy; not by a long shot. It’s just… I’ll be attending a school where I am not guaranteed funding for the length of my career. I would rather not worry immediately about how to pay for my graduate education.