I don’t call myself a geek, programmer, hobbyist, maker, gamer, or nerd.1 It isn’t that the definition doesn’t fit me; I just do not like the connotations of the terms. And I really don’t feel inclined to redefine the terms to remove the connotations.
What’s wrong with being a…? Nothing. I am simply uncomfortable using term that include connotations and stereotypes that I don’t agree with or that are exclusive to me.
What does an X look like? What pronoun do you use? What scents do they have? What words do you use describe an X?2
All of those labels I reject? It’s because there’s a stereotype that one is male, heterosexual, European/European-American, teen to 20-something, cisgendered, and able-bodied.
Those stereotypes? I am not the person that is being talked to by these groups.3
And, as is often required, how do I prove that I’m not the one being talked to? Happy example time:
- Reading a Wired article that stated the reader has a girlfriend with the implication that I am not female. I’m not male, heterosexual, or have a girlfriend, so definitely not talking to me.
- Reading job advertisements requiring that applicants be “rockhard geek guys.” In addition to not being a guy, I’m not okay with enforcing a definition of masculinity.
- Seeing a board game called Genji about writing poetry. This reappropriates the works of successful female writers4 of the Heian Period on to a male, fictional character. That is a rapist.
- Having nearly every female character as the “romantic interest” for the male (player) character. Yes, there are some exceptions. This insistence that there must be a (heteronormative) romantic relationship in a story is frustrating as an asexual.
- Being told by a person that disability and education are disjoint research subjects. Guess I should repay taxes that were wasted on my public education.
- Being called “Hitler” as a “joke.” It isn’t a joke if there isn’t a punchline.
- If I were to dress up as my favorite fictional characters, I will be in a position where I “deserve” to be sexually harassed, assaulted, and objectified.
- Having to hear that employees fitting the above stereotype helps to support diversity. Yeah, my head hurts.
And it’s not like I do not enjoy doing geeky things. And there are female geeks that proudly wear the geek badge. I’m just inclined to not use labels that reject me. For more on geeky subcultures and exclusivity, consider:
- Geek Feminism: blog that “exists to support, encourage, and discuss issues facing women in geek communities, including science and technology, gaming, SF fandom, and more.”
- “Being Inclusive vs Not Being Exclusive“: a very well written blog post on the difference between inclusive and implicit exclusivity.
- Feminists with disabilities for a way forward: Disabled feminists blog that includes critiques of social depictions of disability.
- The Iris Gaming Network: blog that promotes women’s perspectives on gaming.
1 Dork, creative, designer, scientist, and technologist.
2 I’m just going to apologize if I didn’t include some means of encoding informations. I think in lists, textures, and adjectives, which is kind of hard for others to grasp.
3 Saying these subcultures do not exclude me is not equivalent to including me. And not being inclusive is exclusive to me.
4 Although not relevant, not naming these women is dismissive of their value: Murasaki Shikibu is the writer of The Tale of Genji, and her rival Sei Shounago is best known for The Pillow Book. In the Heian period, being a court lady meant writing poetry to make your respective empress or courtesan look good. There were many others, but these two have made the most lasting impression.
